I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
