I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
