i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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