I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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