K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
