What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just cut my nipple shaving
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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