her vagine was all disorganized.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize