I cockslap morals
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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