people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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