and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
