did you get engaged???
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
