Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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