I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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