You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
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My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
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Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.