Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister