I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"