He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
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Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
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Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?