I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
