O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
