Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
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