I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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