Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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