I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
