been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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