i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize