Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
