i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
