i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
