I have demons in me.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
