i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
