i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
