He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
