Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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