don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
