Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
