I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
