So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
