Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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