i just google imaged poop.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
