so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
