She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
