My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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