their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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