summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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