break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
