Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
