I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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