We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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