Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
