we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize