My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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