i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
