If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
