sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
cat food counts as protein by the way
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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