Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize