If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica