Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault