Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me