i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single