well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.